Mother and daughter team Di Murphy and Kristin Sutherland have a combined experience of 50 years working in corporate organisations and having in-depth conversations with people about their retirement.
Through their discussions with people at all stages of life, from young millennials who dream of early retirement to Baby Boomers who are either on the verge of retiring or have retired, they discovered a common issue: most people need to prepare better for retirement.
As their insights around retirement continued to highlight a need for planning, preparation, and information, it sparked an idea around co-authoring their newly released book Dare To Retire Free.
“Our journey towards being authors actually truly began in 2006 when my husband John, a lawyer of 42 years, decided to give law away and finish his legal career,” says Di.
At the time, John was 62 but declared he’d had enough of work and had been looking forward to early retirement for a few years. So, after fond farewells and celebrations, John commenced a new direction in life that did not involve work.
“Even though John had looked forward to early retirement for many years, he started that first day with no set plan other than to accompany me to a weekly grocery shop. And that’s when things started to go wrong.
“Over a leisurely lunch, John slowly sank unconscious from the restaurant chair onto the floor. There was lots of confusion and dismay in the restaurant, but someone managed to contact the ambulance, which duly arrived, taking John off to the closest hospital.
“Many hours passed along with many tests, and the doctors were mystified as to why John had collapsed without warning. So, John, who dislikes hospitals or any medical procedure, set about to discharge himself. As he completed the paperwork, the nurse in charge of Accident & Emergency asked John a simple question: ‘John, have you retired recently?’ The answer was, ‘Yes, just a day ago.’
“The nurse then made a remarkable statement: ‘Do you know, John, in the past week, we have had five other patients just like you, recently retired – two walked out, you being one of them, and the other three were taken out in body bags’.”
This incident led John to reflect on his purpose in life. Throughout his career, he had shouldered the burdens of his clients, providing them with legal support and relief. With retirement, he suddenly felt useless and without a clear plan for his future.
Instead of completely retiring, he started a new business venture and successfully grew it into multiple businesses over the next 10 years. When he finally retired, he had a plan and a sense of purpose, leading to a fulfilling life filled with self-worth.
“During this period, Kristin and I noticed similar struggles among our older friends. Many accomplished individuals were either dreading retirement or feeling disappointed during what’s supposed to be the golden years.
“Financially, they were well-prepared, so it wasn’t a matter of money. We wondered if there was any research confirming the observations made by the nurse on the night John collapsed. We also questioned the lack of available information on the emotional and psychological aspects of retirement planning.
“Most resources focus solely on financial aspects, leaving individuals unprepared for the transition from work to the newfound freedom retirement brings.
“Most of us spend more time planning our children’s weddings than our retirement.”
That sobering thought is worth considering as you perhaps turn your attention to your own retirement – whether it’s a stage of life that’s pending or that you’re already in. While there’s a glut of financial advice around retirement, Di and Kristin address equally important topics in their book Dare to Retire Free, such as self-worth, relationships in retirement, healthy ageing, the importance of friends, and mindset.
Some of the questions posed include: ‘Do you have a sense of your direction, and do you know if your life will remain productive, active, creative, and emotionally integrated? Have you done everything there is to do in your life?’.
While these may be difficult questions to answer, Di and Kristin have put together an assessment to help people work through some of these topics.
Common questions for those retiring include:
- Do I truly deserve retirement?
- Have I worked enough?
- What have I achieved?
- Can I survive without working?
- Who am I without my job?
- Have I worked hard enough to deserve to have fun with my retirement?
“These questions can lead to sleepless nights, but there’s an option to discover who you are, no longer defined by a job description but one you identify as who you want to be. Your job title and role are now
a past life – and we’re striving to help people discover their new identity,” says Di.
“We’ve been programmed to believe in jobs. It’s what has been encoded inside us, so it’s perfectly understandable for people to have fears and doubts about retirement. It’s okay to be apprehensive about spending an entire day thinking about other things than rushing to work.
“Decades of programming are not broken down in a single moment.”
The New Zealand pair also stress the importance of two essential ingredients for a successful retirement:
- Sufficient funds to live on and
- Sufficient things to live for
“Many people have the funds and a list of interests, hobbies, and activities to keep busy. But you may need more than these activities to achieve a fulfilling life,” says Kristin. “A zest for life, positive attitude and excitement about experiences and activities can be at the heart of a purposeful retirement.”
Dare to Retire Free is an excellent guide for those looking to plan for what could be the best years of their life. Included in this planning is:
- Identifying what gives your sense of worth and purpose
- Anticipating potential relationship issues that may arise and plans to avoid them
- Mapping your social network – to plan for support networks and friends following retirement
- The importance of health and exercise in retirement
- Planning your day in retirement to avoid common issues such as loss of structure and purpose
- Utilising your existing skills in retirement or learning new ones
- Exploring work options – volunteering, part-time work, consulting, and more
- Evaluating downsizing options and looking at the paperwork
Dare to Retire Free is packed with thought-provoking tips for making the most of this stage of life and for ensuring all aspects are covered and not just financial planning.
